Summer is the time when a majority of weddings take place due to the lovely weather. As the plans get underway earlier in the year, I often hear brides to be talk about their engagement party, the wedding, ‘the dress’, members of their bridal party, flowers, décor, the rings, etc. The funny thing is, I do not hear them talking as much about life after the wedding and the honeymoon, you know – real life!

When I became engaged, my church required us to attend a marriage prep course in order to be allowed to get married. Ten couples attended the two-day weekend retreat and because of that time together two couples decided to call off their wedding. Do I hear you asking yourself why? Because we talked about money, trust, communication, having (or not having) children and all the grown up stuff that comes along with the marriage!

Once the wedding and honeymoon are over the two of you will settle into your new life together and along with that comes playing house and learning how to embrace your new reality. It will be time to start paying the bills, deciding if you are going to have joint or separate bank accounts, discussing who will handle the household responsibilities and all the other fun stuff that comes along with being a ‘married couple’. What if you are marrying for the second or third time and bringing together two families? How is it that some of the most important things soon to be wed couples should be discussing never seem to be discussed before the wedding?

At any age, engaged couples need to be having ‘courageous conversations’ with their soon to be better half if they hope to succeed at the marriage thing. If you would like to have a better than average chance of not being a divorce statistic here are a number of things I suggest you discuss before you even set the wedding date (or as soon after as possible).

-Did your parents openly discuss money in your house when you were growing up?
-If so, were they positive or difficult discussions?
-What is your current relationship with money? Are you a spender or a saver?
-What are your individual credit ratings?
-Will you have a pre-nuptial agreement drawn up?
-Will you live on a budget as a married couple?
-Will you have joint or separate bank accounts?
-Will you have life insurance in the event of a premature death?
-What about critical illness insurance in the event one of you is stricken with an illness and cannot work?
-What about disability insurance if you cannot work due to an unforeseen disability?
-Will you have wills drawn up in the event one of you dies? Who will be the executor?
-Will you know what each other’s final wishes are?
-Will you have powers of attorney put in place for medical and financial matters?
-How will you make major financial decisions together?
-If you buy a house, will both of your names be on title?
-Will you have insurance in place to pay off the mortgage in the event of a premature death?
-Do you want children? If so, when and how many? How will you bring them up? -Do you both intend to be hands on parents? Will one of you stay home? If so, which one? Who will be their legal guardian(s)?
-If this is not your first marriage what financial baggage might you be bringing into the new marriage?
-If you are bringing together a blended family, how will that work?
-If you are caring for elderly parents, how will that work?
-If you come into the marriage as a business owner or you become business owners together what will that look like?

Married life is wonderful and I highly recommend it, but it also brings with it more than just moonlit walks on the beach, romance, wine and roses. With it come the day-to-day realities of trying to juggle work and home life, money and business issues, parenting challenges, late nights, sickness, and sometimes unfortunately loss and financial chaos. To begin your marriage on an open and strong foundation I invite you to visit the shop to order my book WITH THE [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][STROKE] OF A PEN®, Claim your life. The book is full of tips and tools to help you get the ‘courageous conversation’ started and to set yourself up for a long and happy life together. Please follow me @janeblaufus and on Facebook www.facebook.com/jeblaufus

Best Wishes![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]